Originally posted by FiendishGyrator on Stripper Web 07/08/11
Here is a list of some things I've learned about touring. It's not exhaustive and I'm sure some won't apply to you, though I hope that ya'll will chime in with what you think is necessary to know but not necessarily common knowledge.
1. As stated in other threads, Priceline is your friend. I find it easier in larger cities than small, but I can't exactly complain (though I'm paying the same price for a 2 star in a small town right now than I paid for a 4 star last holiday weekend in Dallas. Annoying!) When you can't use Priceline (and for awhile I couldn't because I was traveling with my dog) look up various rewards programs for hotel chains. My favorite thus far has been the Wyndam Rewards card. Free, easy, but it takes something like 8 nights to earn a free night. I liked it because the Days Inn has been good to me in a few cities, is pet friendly, and I could go upscale or downscale to other hotels in the chain depending on my preference or if I was taking a couple of days off on the road (and then I would drop down to the Travelodge since I wasn't hosting anyone.)
2. When travelling during the summer, buy small packs of condoms. Trust me-- you will forget your condoms in the car, and the 100*+ heat is not good for them. So instead of risking busted condoms, just buy small packs. Sometimes, when I've forgotten condoms in the car that I've JUST GOTTEN (talk about annoying!) I put those in a separate space for work and use those when I need a cover but it's not for FS. I don't do bare anything, so that works for me. For many of you, you'll just toss 'em out. Oh, and also, I used to think condoms came in regular and large. Nope! There's regular, large, extra-large, and now smaller than normal (see my small penis condoms thread)
3. You will quickly learn to be organized on the road, or else your car trunk is going to look like shit and you're going to have to riffle through it. To avoid this myself, I picked up three small luggage pieces (overnight bags) and every few days when they start to look crazy, I organize my jewelry, my undies, my makeup, and my work stuff. I like packing a work bag with my clothes and such and a personal bag so that I don't have to keep lugging in my luggage every time to the different hotels. I circulate different clothes from my big luggage to my small luggage. When I'm REALLY on top of things, I have my dressy bag, and my casual bag. But anyway this brings me to
4. You're making more money but you're also spending more money. Look to CVS, Ulta, and thrift stores. Depending on how long you're on the road, you will get sick of your clothes. Blowing $200 at a thrift store (but then again, I found a really nice distribution GoodWill Center so a lot of these clothes were brand name, hardly used, and clean) will likely give you more satisfaction and diversity than spending $200 at the mall.
5. Breakfast bars. I wish I had one on me last night because that would have helped me avoid going to Ihop, eating unhealthy, and examining what I'm sure is the beginnings of a double-chin and a gut. Partially that's my own paranoia, but my point is-- breakfast bars or something that are cheaper than restaurants, are packaged, doesn't have to be refrigerated, and is as good a week or two from when you bought it as if you ate it the day you bought it. You need to keep healthy snacks around you or else you will likely eat like crap. That being said, have yelp on your phone because at least then you will have interesting crap (I had both a kangaroo burger and a venison burger last week!)
6. Keep an eye and an ear out for people who can make your life easier. People like this include lawyers, people who work for a cell phone company (who can get you a trak phone under a false name), and heck, maybe even a dentist. It doesn't mean you have to use their services, but if you're in a pinch sometime and you're in their neck of the woods, it's always nice to know a name and have some previous dealings with them.
7. I don't know about other touring ladies, but after so many weeks on the road staying at hotels, my vagina got REALLY, REALLY angry. I thought it was BV and treated it. Then I thought it was Trich and I treated that. Guess what it was? Hotel toilet paper. That stuff is nasty for repeat use. I actually have to go pick up some nice toilet paper today because my vagina started making disgruntled noises (read: feeling irritated) and it was because I'd been at a friend's house for a week. I don't know what it is about hotel toilet paper since I stay at so many different hotels!
8. I'm into alternative medicine. That being said, your vagina is going to get irritated. I know mine can't stand KY jelly for one thing. A few things that I think every touring girl should have on hand (and this goes for dancers as well because of the germs we come into contact with) include the following:
1. Tea Tree oil: Great for butt bumps, spot treatment, BV and trich (when mixed with coconut oil and inserted)
2. Cold-pressed Virgin Coconut oil: Works as a lotion and a toothpaste in a pinch, helps with vaginal issues (see tea tree oil), or by itself as a sexual lubricant, or to ease irritation and dryness.
3. D-Mannose: The best thing I've found for UTIs. Works nearly immediately. There was also an interesting study on horses being treated for UTIs while they were trying to breed, and they also found that horses being treated for UTIs didn't get pregnant. I mention this because it's an interesting anecdote. I only use it for UTIs.
4. Plastic needleless syringe: To insert tea tree oil and coconut oil. I prefer 3/7 tea tree oil to coconut oil ratio.
*I am not a doctor. I am only writing what works for me. Do your research!
9. You will eventually get sick of hotels and if you don't want to be like me and get sucked into Plants vs. Zombies or some other video game, have a goal to accomplish like learning a language, writing, reading, or going sightseeing. Yelp.com is also very helpful for seeing what local festivities are occurring near you. If you're on a forum, whether this one or some other one, make friends and try to find people to socialize with outside of the business (or in the business, but what I mean is, not clients during your off-time.)
10. Ear plugs. Total necessity for being at different hotels with different noise issues.
11. Have stamps and envelopes so you can take care of bills in the middle of the night (unless everything is attached to your credit card) without having to make it to the post office before they close.
12. I can't wear fake nails anymore. I love how they look, but I got a ragged edge on one and didn't have a nail file and went into an appointment. That was when I had the damn condom breaking issue (it had a big slice up the side of it when I looked at it.) Finding out I had BBS (even if it was only the last three minutes or so!) with a client after the fact was one of the most demoralizing experiences I've had. It also fucked up my cycle because I had to go on Planned B. Now I paint my nails nicely, and while I know I would be extra paranoid when having nails and likely wouldn't experience another condom issue, it's just not worth it to me. So if you have long nails, buy lots of nail files and clippers and stock those so at any second you can correct a ragged edge.
13. Planned B: About $40. It's better to have it and not need it, than need it and not have it. Luckily you can walk into a drugstore and get it, and having it in your work bag should an issue occur will help give you immediate peace of mind.
14. Having a spare towel in your car would be good if you're like me and re-dye your hair every couple of weeks, so you don't get charged by the hotel for staining their towel (and yes, I got charged $15 for this once though I'm sure they could just bleach that shit out and just wanted to charge me )
I know there's more that I wanted to write, but that's all I've got at the moment
Some of this stuff I have to keep relearning over and over, since I used to tour as a dancer.